Some VERY Exciting News!

We did some serious celebrating yesterday up in Wisconsin.

My brother's birthday was last week on April 3rd, and mine was yesterday.
After all these years, it's pretty tough to come up with a truly unique gift idea,

but I think you'll agree, this one is pretty good.

On Tuesday, April 19th

Jim will officially become the new owner 
of my "gently used" left kidney!

How exciting is that?!

My big brother is an incredibly brave man who has weathered major health issues and faced into some pretty challenging experiences during the course of his life. Most recently, the long term use of one particular drug prescribed to treat an ongoing health situation caused his kidneys to fail, and he was forced to begin dialysis last fall. Dialysis has profoundly affected Jim's quality of life:  He's on a very restricted diet.  He's tethered to that machine for several hours three mornings a week and is absolutely exhausted for the remainder of each treatment day. His adverse reactions to this regimen limit not only his life, but its ripple effects reach the lives of his fabulous wife and two daughters as well.

My niece, Colleen, was kind enough to share this beautiful photo with me.

It was taken last week on Jim's birthday.

~

And this photo of Erin Elizabeth and my niece, Erin Kathleen,

was taken in August of 2006 at Erin's wedding.

~

Often one's current health concerns must be aggressively treated with toxic drugs whose long-term side effects could potentially damage the body's other systems, but the need for the immediate relief of symptoms or the potential cure of a disease overshadows what could eventually happen in the future. One is forced to take the risk at that time, and then deal with "what if" when/if it becomes an actuality. Such was the case for Jim; and had Erin survived Ewing's sarcoma there was a strong possibility that her future health could have been compromised in a similar manner due to the nephrotoxic and cardiotoxic side-effects of some of her chemotherapy drugs. She'd already developed some peripheral neuropathy and had most likely lost the ability to ever conceive a child by the end of her first protocol. Other long-term effects were likely.

Erin's (and therefore my) personal experience of this rock vs hard place drug dilemma, coupled with an empathetic understanding of a lifestyle limited by the ball and chain hold imposed by ongoing chemotherapy/dialysis treatments, were factors that led to the decision to undergo testing to determine my eligibility as a living donor, and I began the first series of medical examinations in early February. If only it was as quick and easy as is appears to be on Desperate Housewives. Really??
I've been throwing things at the TV during recent episodes!

First and foremost, the donor and recipient must have compatible blood types. We're both O+, so score one there!  Blood is drawn for tissue typing, crossmatching, antibody screening and to make sure the donor is free of any transmissible diseases (HIV, hepatitis, etc).  A closer "match" means fewer anti-rejection drugs for the recipient. (Because we're siblings, we're close. He's looking a little standoffish in this pic - too cool for the younger sister!)

Tests are performed to ensure the donor is cancer-free (Forced me to get up to date on things and to also have that over-50 test many of us avoid - piece of cake!) and that there is not a current medical condition that affects the kidneys such as high blood pressure or diabetes. Special tests determine current kidney function and cardiac wellness. Essentially, one's overall health must be excellent in order to be considered. (No chances are taken when it comes to the well-being of the donor.) The process also involves psycho/social evaluations, and meetings with a nurse practitioner, a dietician, a pharmacist, nephrologists... and requires the development of an ongoing and sometimes frustrating relationship with a donor advocate who works with a recipient advocate, each of whom has the job of protecting patient rights at their own ends of the spectrum, but must also work together using a communicative "team approach" method necessary to ensure the success of a complicated endeavor such as this. Tricky? That's putting it mildly!

SO... the weeks of poking, probing and scanning have proven that I am truly blessed to be the picture of health. Amen! After Selection Committee meetings, conversations with surgeons, some discouraging changes, the necessity of yet one more last minute test this past Wednesday and agonizing periods of waiting, we finally received the official news on Friday ~

IT'S A GO!  TUESDAY, APRIL 19th AT 1:00pm!

RAISE YOUR GLASSES WITH US AND CELEBRATE THE GOOD NEWS!

Am I afraid?  No. Not a bit.  I haven't had a second thought since I made the decision in January. I needed to survive the year of "firsts" without Erin to be certain I was strong enough, and then I was ready. I've carefully packed my bag with knowledge from life in the world of absolute neutrophil counts and have moved with confidence into the world of creatinine clearance levels.  My ability to do this is truly as much a gift to me from an emotional standpoint as it is to Jim to improve his physical well-being.  When Erin was sick I was helpless. I could hold her hand and stay at her side, and I take comfort in believing I did the best I could from that perspective, but so much was out of my control.

Thanks to advances in modern medicine I have the possibility of making Jim better.  Hopefully my little kidney will hum in pitch-perfect tune with his body and free him from the choke-hold dialysis has on his life.  I can do this without any adverse effects to my own body. Once I heal from surgery (it is a laparoscopic procedure) my lifestyle will not have to change in any way.  My life expectancy with one kidney will be just as long as it is now with two.
Honestly, it's a Win - Win situation for both of us.

I'm heading into surgery with a body that's healthy and strong, and I have the powerful spirit of one special angel who's been whispering in my ear since January ~
"Of course you should do this mom. Duh!"
Rest assured, I've chatted with her!
All your prayer energy needs to go to Jim because he's in a much more vulnerable state than I am.  I'll be fine.

Hey ~ did you know that when they give the kidney to the recipient they stick it in the front part of the abdomen and leave the other two in there? I didn't know that! So, Jim has assured me, "Mare, whenever I take a leak I'll pat your kidney and thank you... every time.  It's the gift that keeps on giving."
Spoken like a true, smart-ass brother!

Wow, that's even better than the Jelly-of-the-Month Club, Clark!
Thank goodness, because now I'll never have to give him another birthday present. Check that one off my future to-do list.
~ ~ ~

A few wrap-up nuts and bolts ~ Surgery will take place at Froedtert Hospital in Milwaukee, and I will return home to recuperate within just a few days. (Anyone willing to rub my feet during that time, please send a note.) Jim will be hospitalized a bit longer. We both want to be home in time for the Easter Bunny's arrival. I'll take a couple of weeks off from my new part-time job (which I love, by the way), I recently accepted the position of newsletter editor for my Chapter of The Compassionate Friends and this wonderful bunch of kindred spirits is transitioning me into the preparation of the May/June issue, and I have this VERY important blood drive coming up that I've been planning for with the LifeSource rep. (I'll be ready to post sign-up details next Monday before I head up to Milwaukee.) ... Sarah's birthday is tomorrow, the magic has continued for what will be 31 years on 4/26, then there's Tasha's shower in June, and that leads to a very exciting wedding in August... so many exciting things are happening, my head is spinning!
If I don't see you sometime before, I'll see you on May 15th.

I'll be in touch when I can.
Peace to all.