Geometry and Carnival Ducks ~ aka Radiation Absurdities

Students, take a sheet of graph paper out of your notebook. Begin by drawing your coordinate plane with x-axis and y-axis. Label your four quadrants.


Parents, to radiate daughter, begin by folding gently. (Dotted line marking center of body is hidden discretely under clothing.)
Y-axis will divide her vertically into virtually symmetrical sections.

~ mouth is bisected by y-axis, resulting in nearly congruent (when flipped) sections of undiminished smile
~ brown eyes, rimmed with sweeping lashes, are located parallel to and equidistant from the axis
(those are the sparkling areas marked by ordered pairs 2, 25 and -2, 25)
~ brows do not begin at precisely equal points, therefore slope is not identical on each side, resulting in endearing imperfection
(use slope-intercept formula y = mx + b)
~ Heart occupies the majority of Quadrant I, untouched by any degree of cancer

Plot affected points, labeling appropriately.
Just a few of Erin's, for example ~
A (not Again) - spine
B (oh my Baby) - right elbow
C (I Can't take this) & F (F#*@) - right and left hips
D (Don't say it) - right scapula
E (it's Everywhere) - left rib

Label ordered pairs on body with permanent marker. You may use a Sharpee in a pretty color to complement daughter's lovely summer glow.


Please observe in uncropped photo below ~ annoying marks on body do not excuse daughter from chores such as assisting with meal preparation. Also note presence of intimidating body guard with plastic fork in hand, ready in case anyone has an insulting remark concerning Sharpee color choice or my reference to the F-bomb above!

"Radiation therapy kills cancer cells by damaging their DNA (the molecules inside cells that carry genetic information and pass it from one generation to the next). Radiation therapy can either damage DNA directly or create charged particles (free radicals) within the cells that can in turn damage the DNA."

"Does radiation therapy kill only cancer cells?
No, radiation therapy can also damage normal cells, leading to side effects."

Yes, thank you. I know.
Last October, her esophagus was burned while hitting an area on her spine. This was NOT fun.
Note - smile diminished minimally for a very short period, and then reappeared with same reflective property.
Heart in Quadrant I remained untouched.

"Doctors take potential damage to normal cells into account when planning a course of radiation therapy. The amount of radiation that normal tissue can safely receive is known for all parts of the body. Doctors use this information to help them decide where to aim radiation during treatment."


"Radiation therapy may also be given with palliative intent. Palliative treatments are not intended to cure. Instead, they relieve symptoms and reduce the suffering caused by cancer."

Please just point and shoot again, and again!
Make the pain stop!


Dear God.
Such barbaric treatment to ease pain.
The absurdity...

Heart in Quadrant I still remained untouched and thereby unaffected by cancer.

details in quotes provided by the National Cancer Institute