Things were definitely different around here yesterday. Last week was quite a walk for me, on many levels, with the anticipation of Easter without Erin weighing heavily. It really felt like the first holiday without her. We buried her two days before Christmas. Did we actually have Christmas 2009? Not sure. I just remember walking in the falling snow with Keenan the night of December 25, feeling like we were the only ones on the face of the earth (I can remember how exceptionally quiet it was.) and repeating over and over "Sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace."
Silent night was sung at Erin's funeral mass.
We have always taken a photo of the kids on holidays. There is certainly a distinctive quality to yesterday's! As explained when I published the picture of Matt's birthday from January, we will have a sunflower in future photos in memory of Erin. Chris was in Minnesota for the weekend, so the football represents him.
Sarah & Matty - Easter 2010
The day really was lovely. It was spent with extended family and friends, with talking and laughing, good food and the consumption of too many jelly beans. We've always made individual Easter baskets, yes even at this age. I just couldn't do that yesterday, and instead opted for the community trough of candy on the table. That worked just fine!
The afternoon included a walk through the woods to Bronswood, where we sat under "Erin's pine" and felt the peaceful presence of her gentle spirit as we laid yellow tulips on her grave while listening to the wind chimes in the neighboring trees.
A collection of pine cones from that tree is always kept in a bowl on the table in our dining room, so for Easter we added some brightly colored eggs, including some lime green (her favorite) ones with white speckles.
Obviously nothing will EVER be the same, but the day was ok - no, it was actually REALLY ok. We all had one another, and I am growing in appreciation of that understanding as I see those who spend the holidays alone, or have families in discordant states.
We will ALWAYS be connected.
Easter 1992
Whew!
ReplyDeleteAnd gulp, when I saw this last photo. Such sweet memories.
We will always be connected. Absolutely.
Mom, I love how in this picture I have the french braid and ribbon we were talking about on the way to church! Oh and the flower dress! Lovely!
ReplyDeleteThis one was hard without Chris too but we made it through the day.
If you need a laugh think about Wincie's goose poop stories! Wow! I'm still laughing about it
Mary, That is just about the cutest picture (believe me, there are many cute ones)I've ever seen of your kids.
ReplyDeleteThank you for inviting me to have dinner with your beautiful family. I had a wonderful time. I can imagine what a tough day it was for all of you. And here I am, making a fool of myself by discussing goose poop. If nothing else, it was a distraction.
I knew that I read the "Goose poop every 7 minutes" thing somewhere. I just found it again and feel the need to share my goose fact:
Canadian geese are insane poopin' machines, defecating every 7 minutes while they're eating, and up to 92 times a day in the winter. All I can say to that is those loud, mean-spirited, poopin machines are really full of it!! Drum roll.
I love all of you,
Wincie
Beautifully written Mare. Jim
ReplyDelete