resilience

During my long-awaited Phase II Examination Day at the hospital in Milwaukee - the next step in the lengthy process to determine my eligibility as a Living Kidney Donor to my brother last April - the revolving door of the clinic had steadily turned to let in the stream of professionals who, one-by-one, examined my fat folder of test results that had been performed here in Chicago over a 5-week period, the contents of which thankfully confirmed I was in perfect physical health.  With fine-toothed comb in hand, they began to analyze each detail one last time to ensure my readiness for the formal presentation of my case to the Selection Committee for approval.  No pressure!

Before the inquisition, however, I was required to watch a video of a sweet young couple going through some of the steps to ensure the wife's decision to share her beloved body part with her husband - one of those staged situations where the "patients" gaze at one another through googly eyes and speak in nauseatingly syrupy tones while they somehow have the presence of mind to then turn and articulate the appropriate questions to the medical professionals in perfect sequential order - where the "doctors", in turn, sit in accommodating response to their inquiries, not with one hand overtly on the doorknob indicating   I have thirteen more patients waiting to see me in rooms down the hall, so chop chop!   but with full attention directed toward the parties, making them feel as though they are the only people on the face of the planet.  Barf!!  I always wonder if I'm supposed to be taking notes during those things rather than looking down my nose at them... Anyway, after a bathroom break the parade began, and I met with a nurse practitioner, a pharmacist, a nephrologist, a dietician, my donor advocate and several other individuals who each probed, analyzed and educated in their relevant areas of expertise.

The final meeting was a detailed psycho/social evaluation with a two social workers who posed the questions dictated by established protocol for those considering this surgery - in effect, was I really sure about what I was doing and were all my marbles intact?

• Do you understand that you are a perfectly healthy person agreeing to a totally unnecessary surgical procedure that will pose serious risks, however low that percentage of said risks may be? Here, let me list those possible complications to try to scare you to death, I mean educate you.
  Yes, I fully understand.
• Are you sure?   Absolutely
• Have you been pressured in any way to give up your kidney?  Not at all.
• Has anyone offered money or other forms of payment in exchange for your organ?  (burst of laughter) Oh yeah! My brother's millions outnumber mine! If only!  No, I've told him he owes me a meal on occasion in exchange for the fasting I've had to do prior to certain unpleasant tests.
• You understand that you can change your mind up until the time they wheel you into surgery? Be sure to speak up if you have any doubts.
  I'm not going to change my mind, but yes, thank you. I get it.

I was asked a few more questions pertaining to my personal life, and at that point the subject of Erin's diagnosis, subsequent life with cancer and ultimate death took center stage in the conversation.  Through tears I'd tried SO hard to choke back for fear they'd consider them a sign of instability and cause for my elimination as a donor, I'd assured them of my confidence to have this surgery, and the integral part Erin played in my decision to step forward at the end of January to begin testing.

One social worker seemed really tuned in while I spoke.  I finished, and while maintaining the required degree of professionalism so as not to expose personal details, this woman informed me that she, too, had faced formidable challenges in her life.  She told me she'd often been called brave and strong and tough and admirable and...  but, when all was said and done, had found her word of preference in description of the way she wanted others to view her was resilient.

Resilient.  Since that day, I've thought of that conversation often.

resilience

the return of form or position after being bent, compressed or stretched

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the ability to spring back, rebound

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a recovery from adversity

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the positive ability of a system to adapt itself

to the consequences of a catastrophic failure caused by

power outage, a fire, a bomb or similar event
death of child 

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the ability to provide and maintain an acceptable level of service

in the face of faults and challenges to normal operation

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the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and catastrophe,

including the ability to bounce back to homeostasis after a disruption

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the ability to weather tribulation without cracking

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irrepressibility

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the propensity to land on one's feet

resilience