I'm Still Here

I've begun to receive a few tentative email queries

prompted by an absence of recent blog posts.

Are you there?   Is everything OK?   Are you feeling better?

Yes. Yes. And, yes.

But, I must admit this recovery period has been a bit more challenging than I think I was prepared for, and instead of blabbing about it on a regular basis in this public venue, I've instead turned focus to the management of the discomfort and to the business of trying to regain some of the energy my system seems to have lost. A frustrating part of this endeavor to overcome my recent narcoleptic tendencies has been the lack of cooperation in the weather department, and instead of the spring temperatures that typically prevail by the first part of May luring me to the dirt of my garden, Chicago has been plagued by chilly, drizzly, dreary weather, and I've instead turned to cozy recliner in the living room ~

Oh no, Keenan shrank!

No, that's just Chris & Tasha's dog hanging with me here.
Compared to Keenan, Buckley is about the size of my kidney!

~ and to the comfort of that wonderful bed pictured in my earlier post. It seems to be the easier alternative to braving the unpleasant elements outdoors. As one who doesn't sit still well, I've slowly learned over the past two weeks to listen with less protest to my aching belly and sapped energy levels, and crawl into that bed by 8:30 or 9:00 PM, and to do so complete with the dramatic, audible "moan" mentioned in the post's accompanying poem. Working one's opposable thumbs really can be draining!

My body has healed well. I was in Milwaukee this past Wednesday for my post-op appointment with the surgeon, and I received the go-ahead to resume normal activities as tolerated - long walks, biking, yoga - with the exception of heavy lifting for another couple of weeks. Oh darn! I can't haul all the crap out of the garage and do the spring clean-out in there! Dave? Chris? Matty?

I even received permission to get back in the pool, so I was able to lead my fitness classes at work while in the water yesterday. (I started back there on Tuesday.) It felt fabulous, but by the time I got home last night, Dave practically had to throw me over his shoulder in a fireman's carry and heave me into bed. A good night's sleep is a wonderful thing, and with the sun shining brightly today, the prediction of a temperature warm-up and a couple cups of Alterra coffee in me, I can feel the energy returning. There will still be an afternoon siesta, but I'm learning that's not necessarily a bad thing... for now.

The most important element of the whole recovery process has, of course, been Jim's body's willingness to accept my gently used kidney. Finding the correct balance of the dosages of anti-rejection medications is tricky business. Since April 19th, the nephrology team has been monitoring things closely through almost daily blood draws, and this past week there was some concern that first prompted a kidney ultrasound, which showed everything was connected properly and blood-flow was strong (so cool!), and then a biopsy yesterday. Biopsy? Yes. After living in the world of oncology for three years with Erin, the mere mention of the term makes me want to throw up, multiple times. We collectively held our breaths as they performed what they termed "a very routine biopsy procedure during the post-transplantation period" (yeah OK - maybe for YOU) on my kidney that is now in Jim's body (still so weird) and we received the fabulous news that there is absolutely NO SIGN OF REJECTION AT ALL. Amen... so, they will continue the complicated business of medication balance, and this will be an ongoing, lifetime routine. I told Jim his body and my kidney are just having a big brother vs little sister argument, each trying to attain the upper hand.

HAH - the cool part is that I get to win this argument!

He has to accept my conditions this time.   HAH again!
OK, we'll spend some time on the "friendship rug".

I continue to be amazed by this miracle of modern medicine. After Wednesday's appointment with the surgeon we had dinner with Jim and Sue, and I have to say Jim looks better than he has in months. It's just a little over two weeks since the surgery, and his energy level is higher, his color is great, and his positive outlook and sense of humor are steady and strong... and, Sue is a saint :)

As we approach Mother's Day this weekend and Erin's birthday on May 14th,

with a tumult of emotions causing my heart to jump all over the place,

and tears to flow a bit more frequently again,

I do so with a profound sense gratitude as well.

~ for the blessings of the past few weeks that feel like true miracles,
for the visuals of our butts hanging out the backs of our hospital gowns
as we waddled down the hall, complete with IV poles and catheter bags,
because if you can't laugh at yourself - forget it!

for the support of the communities 

both here and in Milwaukee, where neighbors are providing meals and transportation

to and from the hospital for Jim's many appointments ~

for Dave, Chris, Sarah, Matt, Tasha, Frank and Beth

Keenan and Buckley

and my sweet and ever-present Erin Elizabeth

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL