in celebration of the day of her birth

Words can't adequately describe the emotion-filled mission of celebrating the birthday of a child who has died. Simply stated ~ it's very complex, parts of it hurt like hell and it's not for the faint of heart. I work hard to stay with the memories of happiness the day of Erin's birth brings; every thrilling detail of my fourth child's entrance into this world, her indelible footprint marking my life forever. I call up the images of the yearly celebrations with family and friends that have occurred over the eighteen years she was with us, wonderful times, with gratitude for each and every one of them.  But...

On Saturday, as I'd stared down at the cake
I had just placed in the shopping cart,

the eruption of tears came.
I can't take this cake home to her.
The protective layer of numbness peels away at times like this.
Gone.

How did this happen?

At 6:30 on Sunday morning, as we began to prepare for the day before us,

I lit this candle that we often have burning in our home.

In spite of the dark, chilly, rainy weather outside

I began to feel a warmth, an energy, enter The Barn.

Erin sure spent enough happy hours in that room,
a true home away from home for so many years,

and maybe that flood of memories were, in part, responsible for what I felt.

I cut that pretty birthday cake and began to put slices of it on plates

because, by God, we were hosting a birthday party,

and we were expecting over 150 guests!

One of the first donors to arrive wore this shirt,

it's message kicking my competitive resolve into gear.

Damn right I am Rebecca!

She brought a few family members with her, and the party began.

The hallway and gym began to fill with more and more generous folks

who'd made the choice to carve a moment out of busy weekend activities

to support our cause to light the paths for those struggling with darknesses.

The familiar faces streamed in alongside people I'd never before laid eyes on,
and the smiling faces, kinds words and willingness of all who entered
made me thankful for this "village" that had,
again, faithfully risen to the occasion.
Individuals from so many areas of our lives graced us with their presence.

A cousin and perhaps a future donor!

A teammate from Lyons - great T-shirt Jill!

One of several St Cletus teachers who came throughout the day.

A teacher from LT.

A birthday buddy with whom Erin played an occasional one-on-one b-ball game.

Hmmm, which one dominated back in the day?

Speaking of basketball, an 8th grade coach & recent Kwak award winner - YEAH!

who donates in Westmont every eight weeks in Erin's memory.
They broke the mold when they made Bill.

A Cletus and LT classmate, faithfully back this year to donate
with both of her parents. 

Another Cletus grad who I'm told bravely got "stuck" several times.

You rock Kelli!

Another tough soul who apparently was willing to get stuck more than once.

So sorry, I didn't know, and thank you!

Thank goodness you got to squeeze the pig, Shirley.

Katie got the pig too.

LOVE the pig!

Thanks to several parents of young children at St Cletus who never met Erin,

who barely know me

who came... who encouraged others to come too.

Two of Sarah's friends drove in from Wisconsin to join us.

ahem - I'm still waiting for my Pepsi, Carly

Budding young author, Stacy (Carly is holding her book above)

is a regular donor in Wisconsin with Sarah.

Glad you girls both came since

Sarah couldn't donate because her hemoglobin was too high! really?!

Matty was a bit more awake this year.

Flush out that red bull!

Chris calmed himself this time by entering a trance-like state

while reciting the state capitals in alphabetical order, backwards.

Am I kidding Sarah?  Carly?

Dave did his first "double red" donation -

a process through which two units of red cells are collected,

while plasma and platelets are returned to the donor.

Dave and Michael were two of eleven who elected to do this process.

Like Brian here, some donors make the whole thing look so easy!

As relaxing as reading the Sunday paper in the easy-chair at home.

Bacon and eggs anyone?

Others who were first-timers braved the experience

in spite of knocking knees and chattering teeth.

YOU DID IT BETH! YOU REALLY DID IT!

Lindsay did it too!

And I must take a moment to put this young lady in the spotlight -

this sweet girl gave her father a kidney several years ago.

Just look at that smile on the face of the phlebotomist!
The LifeSource staff was fabulous.

How can you not smile back at that?

Gosh, we had such a good time.

Geena made weight this year!

so good to see your mom and Sammi too

Margaret made weight too!

Thank goodness they didn't check the driver's license.

Of course, Erin's friend Kristin was there

and she had to put up with some not-so-gentle pokes either :(

Unfortunately, Ali wasn't back from school in time.

Not to worry!

Since she couldn't get to the blood drive, she simply hosted her own

at a local American Red Cross in North Carolina.

Several Elon teammates joined her to donate.

I need to share some amazing news about Ali

that you can read more about HERE and HERE.

She is one of 15 students, and the first Elon athlete, to be awarded

the university's Lumen Prize - a $15,000 academic scholarship that will

afford the opportunity to pursue her research project ~

Optimizing Heating Efficiency of Magnetic Microspheres

for Magnetic Hyperthermia Treatment of Malignant Tumors
yeah - wow, right?

(targeting treatment toward cancer cells without damaging healthy cells)

Lumen comes from Elon’s historic motto, “Numen Lumen”

which, in Latin, means “spiritual light” and “intellectual light”.

How appropriate, considering the theme of this year's blood drive.

Naturally her parents were with us, and her mom and I shared a few words.
OK, maybe a couple of tears too...

I was unable to give blood due to my other donation in April, but I'll be back on track in another couple of months. Instead, I bounced about the room throughout the course of the day, trying so hard to make sure I said a word of thanks to everyone who came. I know I wasn't able to speak with each person, but hopefully at least one member of our family found you and expressed our gratitude for your generosity. If we missed you, please know we are so thankful for the gift of your presence. There are additional photos in the sidebar, and I know we didn't get pictures of everyone. There were SO many of you there!

165 units were collected on Sunday.
5 more in North Carolina - of course those count!
11 more willing folks were deferred for various reasons - low/high hemoglobin, recent travel out of the country, antibiotics, blood pressure concerns, etc.  Willingness counts too!
Those of you who are interested in donating on a more regular basis in Erin's memory can do so anytime at any LifeSource location.  Just give the code 556C when you register.

We can't bring Erin back, and so we carry her forward with us through our days. It would please us if you would put your candle in a special place in your home, and on occasion light it in memory of our girl, to celebrate your presence at her 20th birthday party and to commemorate your generous act of donating the benefits of your good health to someone less fortunate.

If you're a planner, mark Saturday, May 12th on your 2012 calendar. That will be the celebration of Erin's 21st birthday. Hmmm... we could get interesting with those party favors! Give a pint, and then take a shot!

THANK YOU!